Category Archives: Otto the Police Dog

Otto the Police Dog

OTTO THE POLICE DOG 3: Games Over

Phew. And boo. The Commonwealth Games are over and I’m both relieved (nothing bad happened) and sad (it was all so exciting!). And I think we all in the police did brilliantly, if I say so myself.

We created at least 8 briefings per day, just in case the bosses ran out of updates to read, and the number of completely identical maps produced by so many different departments was really impressive!

And apparently there were some beat cops who had been on duty for so long without a break that they asked for a ‘comfort break’ (is that like a biscuit…?) but were told they couldn’t, so they had to just…go. In their trousers. When he heard about that, Sarge used a lot of bad words although I’m not sure why because that’s how I do it too. Without the trousers, mind.

Meanwhile, I turned 10 years old yesterday!! I knew nothing about this until Sarge gave me a dentastix (wasn’t sure whether to be pleased or offended) which was tasty. He called me Slobadog Milosevic before wiping me down. I love Sarge. He’s the best.

So now the Games and my birthday are over, I suppose I can have a nap at last. I’ll miss all the activity though, running around “sniffing and barking and marking and whiffing”, as Sarge calls it. But he calls me Good Boy too so I don’t mind.

And next month it’s the Ryder Cup! Very excited.

Next week: Otto’s top 10 songs (spoiler alert: Led Zeppelin is in the top 5, for obvious reasons)

Otto the Police Dog

OTTO THE POLICE DOG 2: Zero Hour!

I SAW THE QUEEN! THE ACTUAL, LIVING BREATHING QUEEN! Well I saw her ankle when she got out of the car in the main arena, but it still counts!

So did you all watch the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony too? Woof, what a wonderful show it was. The singing, the dancing, the chairs, the kilts; it couldn’t have been more Scottish if Frankie Boyle had stabbed Nessie in the throat with a slice of deep-fried shortcake.

Mind, I missed most of it because I was working very hard; my absolute favourite thing. On the Tuesday we started our shift in Winchburgh, although they must have not told the Desk Sergeant because there weren’t any. Desks, I mean.

Then we nashed it to every treble nine call for the next 14 hours because most of the force were made to stand guard outside empty buildings.

And then we went to Fettes for breakfast but when we got there at two in the morning there was no food and we were then despatched to a treble nine call in Pollokshields, where another three police vans had been sent at the same time! thank dog we have lots of resources to spare! I was so excited to see everyone that I piddled on Sarge’s boots; the ultimate compliment.

But we made it to the Glasgow arena in time phew. Everyone was talking about a virus in the athletes’ village and how the weightlifters would have to be  careful not to shart – must be a technical term – but at that point I was sent to “sniff out terrorists” by one of the bosses. I love tasks like that; the vaguer the better.

And then afterwards all the police bosses gathered together to give each other a pat on the back (mutual master baton society Sarge called it later and everybody laughed, but I couldn’t see the baton anywhere so I’m not sure what that meant).

Boss1 said it had all happened without a hitch thanks to him personally and how he was expecting a commendation or an OBE. (What’s that then? One Bark is Enough? Otto the Biscuit Eater? Dog knows).

But it was a smashing Games in the end. Well, there was an attempted assault of one of the Tongan weightlifters by a yoof; I saw him getting taken into custody looking a wee bit surprised and crumpled. But there were no actual disasters or catastrophes.

Unless you count the Scotland team’s uniforms. Thank dog I’m colourblind.

Next week: Otto sniffs a suspicious package

Otto the Police Dog

OTTO THE POLICE DOG 1: Games of Thrones

The 2014 Commonwealth Games are finally here! So excited! The coming weeks are so important for the police, where I work, and for me in particular. There’s just so much to do!

So many perimeters to safeguard, bags to sniff, teeth to bare, bad people to identify; No one has actually said so, but I think the success of the Games may depend on me. (Well, they’ve told me that its failure will be my fault, so it stands to reason that I will be thanked for any success as well).

What is particularly exciting is how the bosses have tasked me with so many things only last week, when they have known about the Games for a few years now.

Like I have to mark all the high risk locations along the Baton Relay route based on ALL previous incidents EVER! To give my Chief Inspector an idea of where to “position resources”, is how he put it. Sarge later said he knew where to position resources which made everyone laugh, although I’m not sure why exactly.

So I started the job this morning and so far I reckon I’ve marked almost every inch of the route. I don’t think I can be doing it right. But apparently it’s better to be over-excited and even cry wolf (or cry explosives sniffer dog, huh) than remain calm and proportionate.

And that’s easy to do because it’s just so thrilling, all this last-minute stuff! So many bosses walking very quickly from one end of the operational incident room to the other, all bellowing orders, ordering coffee or just polishing their lapel things.

And the fact that I’m working 12-hour night shifts, 8 nights in a row, while there is no overtime (at least not for support dogs) and way fewer police dogs than only a year ago, makes me feel that this is really SERious.

So I know that if I do a good job, I’ll be doubly appreciated! Just so excited.

Next week: will Otto meet his deadline?