Category Archives: Otto the Police Dog

Otto the Police Dog

Games Over

Phew. And boo. The Commonwealth Games are over and I’m both relieved (nothing bad happened) and sad (it was all so exciting!). And I think we all in the police did brilliantly, if I say so myself.

We created at least 8 briefings per day, just in case the bosses ran out of updates to read; the number of completely identical maps produced by different departments was very impressive; and there were even some beat officers who, having no access to public loos and being on duty for so many hours without a break, were forced literally to relieve themselves. They did ask their managers if they could maybe take a quick ‘comfort break’, but apparently were denied. It was odd but when we were told about this at the morning briefing, it was one of the few times my Sergeant said nothing. He looked angry though.

Meanwhile, I turned 10 years old yesterday!! I knew nothing about this until my Sergeant gave me a dentastix (wasn’t sure whether to be pleased or offended) which was tasty. My Sergeant called me Slobadog Milosevic before wiping me down – not sure who that is, to be honest.

So now the Games and my birthday are over, I suppose I can catch up with some sleep, although I’ll miss all the activity, running from pillar to post, sniffing and marking same. On the bright side, we have the Ryder Cup to look forward to!!! Very excited.

Next week: Otto’s top 10 songs (spoiler alert: Led Zeppelin is in the top 5, for obvious reasons)

Otto the Police Dog

Zero Hour!

I SAW THE QUEEN! THE ACTUAL, LIVING BREATHING QUEEN! It was very brief, if I’m completely honest with you (I saw her ankle when she got out of the car), but it still counts!

So did you all watch the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony too? Gosh, what a wonderful show it was. The singing, the dancing, the chairs, the kilts; it couldn’t have been more Scottish if Frankie Boyle had been stabbed with a slice of deep-fried shortcake. Although I did take issue with some of the Scottie dogs who simply refused to walk out in front of their team and had to be carried – letting the side down rather, I thought.

But I was busy most of the time working. On Tuesday we were scheduled to start our shifts in Winchburgh, although in the end we had to move because there were just three desks in a large, otherwise empty office. So we were sent to Livingston for breakfast but when we got there at two in the morning there was no food and we were then despatched to a 999 call in Niddrie, together with three other police vans for some reason. Thank Benji we have lots of resources to spare!

But we made it to Glasgow in time thank Lassie. Everyone was talking about a virus in the athletes’ village and how the weightlifters would have to be  careful not to shart – must be a technical term – but at that point I was sent to “sniff out terrorists” by one of the bosses. I love tasks like that; the vaguer the better.

And then afterwards when all the police bosses gathered together to give each other a pat on the back (mutual master baton society -?- the Sergeant called it later and everybody laughed, but I couldn’t see the baton anywhere so I’m not sure what that meant). Boss 1 said to Boss 2 how it had all happened without a hitch thanks to them personally and how they were expecting commendations for it, or possibly an OBE. Other Bugger’s Efforts, my Sergeant said later.

And now the ceremony is all over I’m going to sleep for a bit. My shift turned out to be 35 hours long in the end, although there is no overtime but that’s ok, I love working for free.

But Boss 1 was right: it did all go off without a hitch. Well, there was some drunkenness and theft in the park, and an attempted assault of one of the Tongan weightlifters by a rather surprised and crumpled youth. But there were no disasters or catastrophes (unless you count the Scotland team’s uniforms, thank god I’m colourblind), and I’m sure that’s all down to the bosses.

Next week: Otto sniffs a suspicious package

Otto the Police Dog

Games of Thrones

The Commonwealth Games are finally here! Nearly! So excited! The coming weeks are so important for the police, where I work, and for me in particular. There’s just so much to do! So many perimeters to safeguard, bags to sniff, teeth to bare, bad people to identify; No one has actually said so, but I think the success of the Games may depend on me. (Well, they’ve told me that its failure will be my fault, so it stands to reason that I will be thanked for any success as well).

What is particularly exciting is how my bosses have tasked me with so many things only last week, when they have known about the Games for a few years now. Like I have to mark all the high risk locations along the Baton Relay route based on ALL previous incidents EVER! To give my Chief Inspector an idea of where to “position resources”, is how he put it. The Sergeant later said he knew where to position resources which made everyone laugh, although I’m not sure why exactly. So I started the job this morning and so far I reckon I’ve marked almost every inch of the route. I don’t think I can be doing it right. But apparently it’s better to be over-excited and even cry wolf (or cry explosives sniffer dog, huh) than remain calm and proportionate.

And that’s easy to do because it’s just so thrilling, all this last-minute stuff! So many bosses walking very quickly from one end of the operational incident room to the other, all bellowing orders, ordering coffee or just polishing their lapel things. And the fact that I’m working 12-hour night shifts, 8 nights in a row, while there is no overtime (at least not for support dogs) and way fewer police dogs than only a year ago, makes me feel that this is really SERious. So I know that if I do a good job, I’ll be doubly appreciated! Just so excited.

Next week: will Otto meet his deadline?